Spontaneous Mediumship: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
There’s a strange assumption around mediumship that if a medium can connect, they should. If Spirit is there, say something. If you feel someone’s loved one, deliver the message. If you have the ability, use it.
I don’t agree.
Recently, I had two spontaneous mediumship experiences in public that looked fairly similar from the outside. In both situations, I connected with someone’s departed loved one. In both, information came through. In both, the person receiving it got something meaningful from the experience.
But energetically, they were completely different.
When Spirit Creates the Opening
The first happened at a bowling alley while I was celebrating my dad’s birthday. I wasn’t working, intentionally open, or wandering around trying to figure out who had dead people standing behind them. I ended up talking to a woman working there, and during the conversation she asked what I did for work.
That matters because I have boundaries around spontaneous mediumship. One of my agreements with Spirit is that I’m not going to walk up to random strangers and announce that their dead mother is standing next to them. If a spontaneous reading is supposed to happen, there needs to be some kind of opening.
For me, being asked what I do is one of those openings.
The second I told her I was a medium, she got goosebumps. Then I felt her mother, so I asked whether she wanted me to tell her what I was receiving.
She said yes.
From there, the information came through incredibly fast. Her mother talked about changes around where she was living, her relationship, things she wished she had understood while she was alive, how proud she was of her daughter, and specific family information that made the connection evidential rather than vague.
I barely had to reach for any of it. The information was there, I delivered it, and when it stopped, I stopped.
That experience felt like Spirit had arranged the entire thing. The timing, the conversation, the opening, the consent, and the connection all seemed to unfold naturally. I was participating in something, but I wasn’t trying to force it into existence.
When I Went Looking for Spirit
The second experience was different.
I was visiting a space where there was a possibility I could eventually work or host events. I was meeting people who didn’t know me, and I caught something uncomfortable happening inside myself: I wanted to prove that I was actually a medium.
Instead of Spirit pushing forward, I opened my awareness and started looking.
And I connected.
That’s the part I think matters, because the fact that the information was accurate doesn’t automatically mean the impulse behind accessing it was aligned.
Mediums train to connect intentionally. Of course I can open my awareness and look for someone in Spirit. That is part of the skill. But being capable of doing something is different from being invited to do it.
For me, that distinction has become one of the most important parts of discernment.
My Rules for Giving a Spontaneous Reading
I don’t think every medium needs to follow the exact same rules I do, but I do think you need rules. Otherwise, every impression can start to feel like an assignment.
Mine are simple:
There needs to be an opening. I don’t assume that sensing someone’s loved one means I’m supposed to say something.
The person needs to consent. Before I deliver a spontaneous message, I want an actual yes.
I check my intention. Am I doing this because the moment genuinely feels in service, or because I want to prove that I can?
That last question is usually the most revealing one.
Mediumship can be beautiful, but it can also be invasive if it’s handled carelessly. Not everyone wants to hear from Spirit while they’re at work, buying groceries, or trying to get through their day. Their openness matters more than my excitement about what I’m receiving.
If You Want to Receive a Spontaneous Reading
People also tell me all the time that they would love for a medium to randomly find them. You can’t force that kind of moment, but you can make yourself more available to one.
A few simple things can help:
Set the intention that you’re open. You can decide that if a meaningful opportunity for connection presents itself, you’re willing to receive it.
Follow the natural nudges. If you suddenly feel called to mention a departed loved one, ask someone what they do, or talk about mediumship, notice that. You don’t need to manufacture the conversation.
Let the experience be the size it is. A spontaneous connection might be three minutes, one sentence, or one very specific piece of information. It doesn’t have to become a full reading to matter.
The important thing is not to go hunting for it. Openness and chasing are two very different energies.
The Bigger Lesson Wasn’t About Mediumship
The biggest thing these two experiences taught me wasn’t whether spontaneous mediumship is real. I already knew I could connect with people in unexpected places.
What caught my attention was how dramatically different the experience felt depending on what was underneath my decision to use the ability.
One felt like Spirit asking me to work.
The other felt like me asking Spirit to prove that I could.
That distinction goes far beyond mediumship.
How often do we decide something is aligned because the action itself looks spiritual, generous, impressive, or helpful without stopping to examine what is actually driving us to do it?
Sometimes discernment isn’t about asking whether the information is coming from Spirit. Sometimes it’s asking why you want to act on it.
And sometimes the strongest evidence that you trust your ability is realizing you don’t need to prove it every time you get the chance.
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