Can Spirit Cross Your Boundaries? What One Mediumship Demonstration Changed for Me

For years, I have taught mediumship from a fairly simple premise: I trust Spirit.

I have never been particularly interested in micromanaging exactly how a departed loved one communicates with me. One of my earliest mediumship teachers had extremely specific rules about how Spirit was allowed to enter, communicate, and behave during a reading, and something about that always felt wrong to me. My approach became almost the opposite. I trusted my guides. I trusted the people coming through. I believed my responsibility was to surrender enough to let the communication happen.

Then I had a mediumship demonstration that made me question the whole thing.

The Night One Family Would Not Leave Me Alone

During group mediumship demonstrations, I generally have some basic rules. I want to move around the room. I don't want one person receiving every reading. I want the experience to serve the entire group.

At this particular event, however, something felt wrong almost immediately. I was jittery. My skin felt like it was crawling. I was having trouble forming words. Information felt unusually chaotic and difficult to place.

Then I started noticing the pattern.

Spirit after spirit seemed to point back toward the same woman.

She had already received a reading, so I kept moving on. But another spirit would appear and something would again connect to her. Then another. And another. Eventually I realized that the disruption I had been feeling throughout the demonstration appeared to be connected to her family.

So I did something I had never done before.

I energetically removed them from the circle.

I wasn't angry with the woman. She actually appeared embarrassed that her loved ones kept coming through. But I had 25 people in that room, and my responsibility was to hold a demonstration that worked for everyone.

The moment I removed that family's energy from the space, everything changed.

The agitation disappeared. I could think again. I could feel clearly again. The readings started landing normally again. The entire energetic experience of the room shifted.

And then something happened that I still cannot fully explain.

About ten minutes later, the woman got up and physically left the building.

I don't know why she left. I am not claiming that my energetic decision caused her physical one. But experiencing those two things so close together was enough to stop me in my tracks.

Maybe Dead People Are Still People

The experience forced me to reconsider an assumption I didn't even realize I had placed so firmly at the center of my mediumship.

I think I had put Spirit on a pedestal.

We talk about departed loved ones coming through with love. We talk about higher perspective. We talk about surrendering to Spirit because perhaps they can see something we cannot.

But love does not necessarily make someone uncomplicated.

Think about the people you love here. Someone can desperately want what is best for you and still overstep. A parent can love their child fiercely while also becoming controlling. A family member can believe they are helping while completely ignoring someone's boundaries.

Why would we automatically assume every trace of that complexity disappears simply because someone dies?

The family coming through that evening seemed determined to reach their person. Maybe, from their perspective, it felt incredibly important. I can even empathize with it. If I were dead and believed my daughter desperately needed to hear from me, I would probably be one of the pushiest spirits in the room.

And I would still deserve to get kicked out if I were ruining everyone else's session.

Surrender Does Not Have to Mean Giving Away Your Authority

This is the part that has changed my understanding of mediumship the most.

I used to think there were essentially two approaches. Either you tightly control how Spirit communicates, or you surrender and trust Spirit to lead.

I'm beginning to wonder whether that's a false choice.

Maybe my job is to establish the container while remaining open inside it.

I can trust Spirit without assuming every spirit automatically knows better than I do about how a physical mediumship demonstration needs to operate. I am the person standing in the room. I am responsible for the people who paid to be there. I am responsible for my nervous system, my connection, the quality of the communication, and the energetic environment in which all of this is happening.

That responsibility may require boundaries.

For me, this experience was not evidence that Spirit is dangerous or that mediums should become afraid of communication. In six years of doing this work, I had never experienced anything quite like it. The exception should not suddenly become the rule.

But exceptions can reveal holes in the rules we have been operating under.

This one revealed a fairly significant hole in mine.

The Question I'm Taking Forward

I don't have a perfect new system yet. I don't suddenly believe my first mediumship teacher was completely right and I was completely wrong.

What I have instead is a better question:

What rules of engagement allow me to work with Spirit while remaining fully sovereign inside the relationship?

That is what I am experimenting with now.

Mediumship may require surrender. It may also require authority. And perhaps becoming a stronger medium is not about choosing one or the other. Maybe it is learning when each one is required.

Because Spirit can be loving and still be pushy.

And apparently, sometimes the most spiritual thing you can say is: you're not running this room.

Listen to the full episode (#218) here: https://theunitycode.buzzsprout.com/

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